The Journey: A Lesson by Nick, Norah and Aileen

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Growing up Military, Raising 5 Kids (if you count me, too)

Back in August I had a chance to hear Aileen Bennett speak at the NAMS (click here) conference in Atlanta. Her speech, her dialogue with the group was riveting and got eveyone all abuzz. Since then Aileen’s become a better friend and I’ve grown to love her message more. But it wasn’t until I watched “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist” that part of her message clicked for me.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Image via

(If you haven’t seen Nick and Norah, don’t worry I won’t ruin it for you. But I would suggest watching it free on demand with Netflix and then coming back to read this.)

On the surface Nick and Norah is a romantic comedy along the lines of “Say Anything”. Some will not want it compared to such a classic but both reside in the “grunge romantic comedy” section of Blockbuster.

The Destination or The Journey

If you delve a bit deeper, you’ll see that Nick and Norah is really a story comparing two things: the destination vs the journey. Throughout the entire movie Nick and Norah flip back and forth between the sheer joy they will have listenting to their favorite band, Fluffy, and the frustration that goes along with finding their drunken friend (to which they must sacrifice said joy). It’s a masterfully written story where both the protagonist and the protagonist are foils of each other.

So I go back to my friend Aileen. During her talk, she conjured the image of a woman walking to the park with her kids. You can picture this woman trying to briskly walk to the park while the kids keep stopping to pick up rocks and look at bugs. All the while she’s telling the kids “hurry up so we can get to the park and you can play”.

Do you see the parallel yet, the reason why months later I recall Aileen’s speech while watching Nick and Norah? Getting to the park might be the quest. Finding Fluffy might be the goal. Getting 10,000 visitors per day to your blog might be the day you plan to take a breather. And finally getting all your kids out of diapers might bring a smile to your face.

But life, and fun, and joy happens on the way to the park – not just when you get there. That’s what Nick, Norah, Aileen and your favorite teacher were trying to tell you all those times. I command you to find joy today. Make your own happiness be today’s goal.

In the end, when Nick and Norah find out they missed part of the Fluffy show, Nick adroitly says “We didn’t miss it. This is it.”

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Curb Appeal: Can A Front Porch Increase The Value Of Your Home?

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Growing up Military
Front Porch Adds Value to Home

Front Porch Adds Value to Home?

We started to ask the question “can a front porch add value to our home” back in January. The “recession” was in full swing and it started to look like the hike back up the mountain was going to be long. On top of that, what would inflation do to our money? So, we ultimately decided we should make the upgrades we’ve wanted to our home.

While kitchens and bathrooms are typically the area of the home it’s wise to spend money on – would the same hold true for a front porch. Our front porch was 3 feet deep to the railing, which was enough to get a chair in but not really enough to sit down. In fact, if we did sit down it was on the front steps (which were cracked).  Since our kids play in the front yard most of the time, having a front porch to sit on was even more valuable.

But in the end, the decision came to down to money. Would the money we would spend on the porch come back to us? If we were going to spend $X.00 on a front porch to increase the value of our home, would our home be worth $X.00 more than before?

front-porch-increases-valueSo we decided to take the plunge and built, what we thought, would be a beautiful front porch. It’s the same length of 42′ feet but now instead of 3′ deep, the porch in 9′ to the railing. Not only is it big enough to sit on  now, but it’s really deep enough to put a dining room table. In fact, the kids actually play soccer on it.

The question still remains. If the housing economy did not lose some ground over the past year, would the porch have added value? Before you answer – and please do tell us your thoughts – we virtually added 420 square feet of living space to the house.

The deck is no longer concrete, but wood decking stained black. (We also painted the shutters to match). It is open on both ends and we added a new paver walkway instead of the concrete sidewalk.  But will it be worth the amount of money it cost to build?

(If you need a closer look, check out this “Expose” the site Front Porch Ideas and More.com did on the project.)

Tell us what you think.  Was it a wise decision in this economy? Was it wise had the economy continued to grow? Will this porch add enough value to this home?

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My Favorite Shel Silverstein Poem “The Little Boy and the Old Man”

Posted By: dan | Tags: , ,
Posted in Growing up Military, Raising 5 Kids (if you count me, too)

I’m not sure why the poems I’ve posted here have a similar theme. I never intended it that way and didn’t really think about it until I posted this one.

If you love this poem, then check out my other favorite poem called “The Bridge Builder”.

‘The Little Boy and the Old Man’

Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that, too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man.

– Shel Silverstein

That just makes me smile. :)

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Twitter Followers, Romania and Social Stigmas

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , ,
Posted in Ever Been There Before?, Growing up Military, The Social Media Phenomenon

I lived in Romania in 1994 which was 5 years after the fall of the wall but still very early in the post Communist process. I was 20 at the time and got the wake-up call every American needs. I now think everyone needs to live abroad. Only then can you appreciate what you have, and what you don’t.

One of the curious aspects of Romania at the time was their attitude toward customer service. Coming from the U.S. where customer service has been the buzz word for 30 years, I was shocked by that particular difference.

Centre of Cluj-Napoca, Romania, dominated by St.
Image via Wikipedia

My host family once told me that Romanians didn’t like the term customer service. Not because they didn’t want to treat customers fairly but because of the history they had with the word service, servitude and serving their government. She said if that concept was to one day become a business buzz word there – the word service would likely not be part of the term.

I didn’t fully grasp that comment, at least not personally, until Twitter. For me it’s the word “followers”. I really don’t like that word at all. I think of David Koresh and the Waco, TX incident. I think of kool-aid drinkers of South America. I just can’t come up with a positive idea regarding the word “followers”.

Like the Romanians if I could rename that part of Twitter, it certainly wouldn’t include that concept. Maybe that’s because I don’t “follow” anyone. I certainly don’t log-in to Ashton Kutcher’s page to see what he did for lunch and where he is now.

Facebook calls them “friends”, LinkedIn – “Connections”. I sure do wish Twitter had called them Party Go-ers, or Tweeps or Interacters. Actually I can’t come up with a good term myself.

But if it were my business, I’d really take a good, long look at the terms I use on my site. Not only does language play a hand in the terms you choose, but so does culture. What is the culture you want to create? Does that culture mesh well with the culture of your market?

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Overcoming Odds. . . An Amazing Kid, Amazing Talent

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Growing up Military, Raising 5 Kids (if you count me, too)

Why isn’t this a reality show? Why aren’t people like this the ones we hang up on our walls? While this story will amaze you, I don’t think it’s about the kid.

Amazing Kid, Amazing Talent

This is NOT the story of an amazing kid with an amazing talent -though I assure you this is AMAZING. The thing is – his talent is in all of us. Our brain is so complex it’s only the disabled who really explore the parts you and I never have.

Think of the baseball pitcher who had one arm but figured out how to get his glove on his pitching hand before a line drive could make it to the mound.

Think of the dog that walks only on its front two feet because its back feet are missing.

Think of the autistic that can actually count the toothpicks that fell on the ground just by looking at them (like in Rain Man). This kid’s talent is not the story here.rain-man

The story is the mom.We live in a world where every Disney movie features one dead parent. We see Bart Simpson telling his mom to “get a life”. And we watch “The Nanny” encounter parents who just don’t get it.

What you rarely get to see is a mom that instills this kind of wonder, this kind of spirit, this kind of love in her child. What you don’t see are the tears, the crying nights, and the frustration the kid probably grew up with encountered by the limitless possibilities in the eyes of his mother.

Will someone stand-up and make an example of this mom? Politicians, movie stars, Oprah, please, show the world what the power of a positive, loving mom can do. And if you’re just a joe-schmoe like me. . . tell your friends to come watch this video.

Tell them “check out what’s possible when you give your kids all the love in the world’.

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Frankenstein Improved My Life Today

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Growing up Military

I listened to an “electronic audio book summary” of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein today. I don’t know if the “Halloween” timing had anything to do with it, but it certainly wasn’t on purpose. I actually picked up the CD at a garage sale in a box of books (of which I bought all of them) – and didn’t know it was there until I got home.

I like music, but I love books on tape, talk radio, educational CD’s even more when I drive. I feel like I’m actually getting something done even though I’m just sitting there. So today I popped the CD in the drive and started listening.

What a glorious story it is. I marveled at the language and insight Mary Shelley used with Frankenstein. And it amazed me how much I really didn’t know about the story. Movies just don’t do books justice sometimes.

Did you know that Frankenstein lived on his own and learned to read and speak by spying on a family of 3 in a cabin in the woods? Did you know he had superhuman speed? Did you know he was yellow?

The most interesting part to me was Frankenstein’s description of the beginning of life. Of the moment where he could see, feel, hear, smell and taste all at once. He had to learn how to discern one sense from another. I remember one passage where he first learned that if he closed his eyes, the light would go away. What a wonderful mind Mary Shelley must have had.

In the end I listened to an abbreviated version of the story where the narrator left some passages unabridged. And even though it wasn’t the full story, I’m very glad to have listened to it and will certainly look for more classics to listen to. If you’re interested in listening to the entire unabridged book, you can download it here for free. (Librivox is a site that offers books in the public domain free).

Anyway, do you know how the book ends? (If you don’t and don’t want me to ruin it, skip to the next paragraph.) In the end the Frankenstein monster drifts away into the darkness on a boat after having shown remorse over the natural death of his maker, Victor. So you’re left wondering if Frankenstein was really real, or if it was a figment of Victor’s “crazed” psyche, and the drifting is just the passing on of his dead soul. Crazy thought provoking novel.

The best thing about these summaries is the ability to grasp books you may have never read in a short period of time. For me it took 35 minutes with this disk.

I do the same thing for executive / business books – but the service I use is on-line, is in either video, audio or print version and breaks the books down into meaningful parts in 4 minutes. The service is called Go Brevity and is fantastic. The executive business book summaries are more like: “these are the gems to take from this book and here are ways you can implement these brilliant ideas into your business”. It’s just awesome. Check out Go Brevity if you get a chance.

In the meantime, I’m finished with my Frankenstein book review/summary in CD format. I’ll mail it out next week to you if you’d like. Just contact me.

Happy Halloween!

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Strangely, I’m a lot like @The_Real_Shaq

Posted By: dan | Tags: , ,
Posted in Growing up Military

I never would have thought that Shaq and I have something in common besides really liking basketball and using Twitter. I suppose we could have lots in common. We both may like lasagna – who knows? But I was reading an article in Time magazine this week by Joel Stein. I’m not sure if you know this or not, but Joel and Shaq entered into an essay writing contest. In Time Magazine, Joel was writing about it.
shaq
About 1/2 way through the article Joel says “I’ve always longed for Shaq-grade confidence. . .” and quoted O’Neal on how he does it. This is where the idea of this article started, where my buddy Mark (from Adventures of Mark and Dan) comes in and where this revelation that Shaq and I have something in common began. Shaq says, “To this day, I don’t remember myself ever missing a shot, missing a free throw or losing a game. That comes from a military background. Move On. Always Move On.”

Even typing that brings the feeling back. For as long as I could remember my buddy Mark has noted that I have no memory for the bad stuff. Girls that turned me down when I asked them to dance, rejections to prom, etc. . . I have no memory; whereas, Mark remembers them all. What’s funny is I never thought anything of that until I read those words by Shaq. My entire life is Move On. Bad things don’t get me down, don’t typically bother me for more than a short while and I’ve always learned to just ignore the bad stuff and “Move on.”

What do I have in common with Shaq that made this revelation so strange, we’re both from military backgrounds. While I’ve always known that moving from place to place has allowed me to make friends quickly and learn not to love too much, I’d never attributed it to that part of my life. Shaq’s inference that his ability to move on is part from his military uprbringing really rang true with me. That’s all we do.

Since leaving the comfort of my parents house I have continued to move quipping “once I’ve eaten at all the restaurants, it’s time to move”. Has that been too different from Shaq’s NBA career? He’s on the move as well. Perhaps when offers to trade teams came about, part of his military background said “Yeah, let’s do it. There’s not many places to eat left anyway”.

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“You Used To Think Zapping Your Food With Rays Was Safe?”

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Growing up Military

I was thinking today that much of what is here now, is likely to be different than what will be here in 30 years.  Here’s what started that thought:

“You Used To Think Zapping Your Food With Rays Was Safe?”
Microwave oven
Image via Wikipedia
They’ll either say:

“How did you get the electricity into those wires?”

or they’ll ask:

“Why did you connect all the buildings together with those wiry things?”
Pole carrying electricity, Cable TV, and telep...
Image via Wikipedia
“Gramps, that looks like the letters they used to use in fancy documents. I wonder how long it takes to learn all those.”
The English alphabet, both upper and lower cas...
Image via Wikipedia
“When maps were on paper, how did you ever know when you would get there?”
Louisville Roads: 1965
Image by wblo via Flickr
“When music was on those CD things, what happened when you took them out of the holder? Would the music come off or did it stay?
“Would you have to go home every time someone called you. How did you decide what to do?”
A cordless phone produced by Panasonic
Image via Wikipedia
Finally, and hopefully not. . .

“I’m glad they let you wait at home nowadays, I’d hate to wait in that little room for 6 months to see the doctor.”
Letterkenny General Hospital waiting room
Image via Wikipedia
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3 Very Important Life Lessons. . .Including “. . .that’s my girlfriend”

Posted By: dan | Tags: , ,
Posted in Growing up Military, The Fit Life

On my way back from the Niche Affiliate Marketing Seminar I thought of some stories that weren’t here on the blog yet. In fact, I thought these stories weren’t stories at all – they were lessons I’ve painfully learned:

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Almost Catching Halibut in Alaska

Posted By: dan | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Growing up Military

It sure does seem like a long time ago, but it was only 1985 that this story happened. I bring it to you because like many crazy fish tales, there’s surely someone in Alaska still telling this story.

Back in 1985 my grandparents came to visit us in Alaska. As part of his trip, my dad took him out in deep sea fishing in search of Halibut. Now Halibut, just so you know, can be 250 – 300 lbs so reeling one in is kind of an adventure. The following poem immortalized that story.  There’s nothing ‘fishy’ about it – this is a true fish tale:

Halibut Fishing
Image by jermudgeon via Flickr

I flew into Alaska
On the 25th of May.
Glad to see my family.
Lookin’ forward to my stay.

Saw some beautiful glaciers.
Enjoyed a picnic on a rock.
Gazed at moose and sheep and eagles.
Daylight lingered ‘round the clock.

Monday night my throat was sore.
Tuesday I felt worse.
I ended up with cramps and flu.
I felt ready for the hearse.

But I’ve gotta go to Homer though
Gotta go and catch my fish.
If only for the Halibut
It’s my never-ending wish.

So I took my aches and pains along.

Fishing boats - Petersburg, Alaska harbor
Image by brewbooks via Flickr

I felt better on the way.
Homer, Homer here I come
To fish in Kachemak Bay.

The winds were mild, the waters calm
As we launched out on the Bay.
“I’m goin’ fishin’ in Alaska.
This will be a glorious day.”

I got a great big bite.
Felt the tug upon my rod.
Face to face I saw THE FISH.
He was feisty, big and broad.

My eyes grew large. My heart beat fast.
As I tried to reel him in.
All the fellows on the boat
Seemed real eager to join in.

But what I didn’t ever know
About Alaskan fishin’
Is that it’s quite the custom
For someone to shoot THE FISH I’m fishin’!

The Captain of the boat
Comin’ to my aid
Aimed his shiny pistol
To slow MY FISH, he said.

But that little bullet

Halibut caught off the coast of Raspberry Isla...
Image via Wikipedia

Hit the hook instead.
And set my beautiful Halibut free.
I could only scratch my head.

I left Homer, Alaska
On that windy, cool May day
Without my beautiful Halibut
From magnificent Kachemak Bay.

Now I have great memories
Of this Alaskan fishin’ day.
My trip was sure excitin’
Though MY FISH just swam away.

So this is my tale and every word’s true.
I had one Halibut time.
But you can bet if I come back again
THE FISH won’t be shot from my line.

Written by Mary Morris

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